Do you belong?

We are created to belong! I firmly believe this truth. 

We are created to be in community and to be known and loved by others. This is also why it is important for us to remember that we are invited to be part of God's community - to belong to God's family. When Paul wrote to the church in Rome, he reminded them of this beautiful gift:

"So, you have not received a spirit that makes you fearful slaves. Instead, you received God’s Spirit when he adopted you as his own children. Now we call him, “Abba, Father.” For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God’s children. " - Romans 8:15-16

The author and speaker, Brené Brown, puts it in a slightly different way, but it is equally compelling: 

“A deep sense of love and belonging is an irreducible need of all people. We are biologically, cognitively, physically, and spiritually wired to love, to be loved, and to belong. When those needs are not met, we don't function as we were meant to. We break. We fall apart. We numb. We ache. We hurt others. We get sick.”

Question: Do you feel that you belong? Why or why not?

Living in grace

D3LM3 

When your family tree looks a little sketchy!

As I work my way through the genealogy of Jesus, I have been reading up on a few of his ancestors. It seems that Jesus also had some relatives who were a little sketchy. However, despite their short-comings, God was still able to work through their lives and to pave the way for his Son, Jesus. 

Solomon's son, Rehoboam, was the first King of Judah and he certainly was not a saint. Some of his decisions were based on arrogance and were disastrous for his people, however he at least came to a place of admitting his folly. Perhaps this is his most redeeming feature - he was able to admit his mistakes and say sorry:

"Because Rehoboam humbled himself, the Lord’s anger turned from him, and he was not totally destroyed. Indeed, there was some good in Judah." - 2 Chronicles 12:12

Advent takes us on our own spiritual journey of discovery. It should remind us that Christ came to earth for all people - arrogant, proud, sinful, righteous, faithful, humble, weak and strong. 

Rehoboam's story teaches me that every one of us has to face a big decision in our personal lives: Do we blindly follow our own will and plans or are we willing to humble ourselves and submit to the Lord?

No person can come to the manger on their own terms!

Living in Grace

D3LM3

Stronger together

Times are tough for everyone at the moment and this is when we need to stick together, especially with those we love and those in the body of Christ.

"Separate reeds are weak easily broken, but bound together are strong and hard to part." - Unknown

The writer of Ecclesiastes would give his approval of this sentiment as he once wrote:

"By yourself you’re unprotected.
With a friend you can face the worst.
Can you round up a third?
A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped." - Ecclesiastes 4:12 (Message)

What do you feel about this?

Living in grace

D3LM3

Divided we fall

There is an old saying that reminds us of this one important truth - "United we stand, but Divided, we fall!" This saying is used in sports teams, battles between nations, church leadership meetings and even in friendships. However, perhaps the place it plays out the strongest is in FAMILIES. If a family is united together, then they can withstand most onslaughts, but if they allow division to cause strife, then the family bond is in danger.

It was Jesus who used these words to his followers in Luke 11.


Luke 11:17-18 - He knew their thoughts, so he said, “Any kingdom divided by civil war is doomed. A family splintered by feuding will fall apart.

Are you allowing divisions to get among your team/family at the moment? 
What are you doing to sort it out?

Living in Grace
D3LM3 

Who is the wealthiest person in the world?

Socrates – “The wealthiest person is the one who is content with the least.”

I am not sure if this is always true, but the one thing I know is that money doesn't buy happiness.
If we fall into the trap of thinking that 'things' are going to buy us 'wealth' then I urge us to rethink this logic.

No one has ever whispered on their death-bed, "I wish I had more money!" However, I bet there have been plenty of wealthy people who have died thinking, "I wish I had more friends and family right now!"

Worth thinking about.
#justsaying

If you have a moment read Matthew 6:21

Living in Grace
D3LM3

How do you understand this?

I was interested to read an article in the Sunday paper on Trevor Noah and his family. They have just experienced another tragedy in their family and one of the Matriarchs believes that there is a curse on their family. It is easy to see how she can think like this, especially when one is consumed with brokenness and grief. I have reflected on this article in the light of our own family situation:

Our family has been in the wars over the past year. All three of my boys have now broken a bone in their body playing Rugby. Nathan (10) broke his leg last year, Declan (12) fractured his knee in April and Josh (7) broken his arm last week. They were all unusual incidents in some ways, but they all required time in casualty, hospital and casts.

Some people have asked me how I feel about all of this and what I make of the situation. To be honest I don't know. I am not sure there is a theological or spiritual understanding of this situation - it could just be bad luck I suppose.

But, what would your understanding of this be - if it happened to you? Three kids, 3 different broken bones, all in one year?

Here are some of insights people have given to us so far:

1. That's just bad luck!
2. That's Life!
3. Rugby is dangerous for young kids to play!
4. My kids need to drink more milk for calcium (for stronger bones)
5. We aren't praying enough for them.
6. Someone has cursed us.
7. Other?

I don't have a conclusive answer to the why bad things happen to us all, but what I am sure of is that God's Spirit has been with us throughout these ordeals. We would not have coped without the strength and support of friends and the prayers of the faithful.

"Don't try to understand everything because sometimes it is not meant to be understood, but accepted." - Unknown

"Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards.”- Soren Kierkegaard

What do you think?

Living in Grace
D3LM3

Birthday smiles

It has been a will since I wrote and I apologise for that. I have been in Johannesburg leading some services and workshops, which all went well.

Today, I want to celebrate, because it is my baby's birthday. Yip, Joshua turns 2 today (10th). He is a true gift from God and we love his personality and zest for life. I thank God every day for my family.

I know this verse applies to the birth of Jesus, but I feel that it applies to our kids too...

Luke 1:14 - "He will be a joy and delight to you, and many will rejoice because of his birth."

May you be blessed by your family and may you appreciate every moment that you have with them.

Living in Grace,
D3LM3

Interesting Stats

Here are a few of the interesting stats we shared in the sermon on Sunday.

• Kids who viewed their mom as religious – 48%
• Kids who viewed their dad as religious – 23%
• Kids who experienced family devotions, prayer or bible reading at home – 27%

These are quite alarming stats, especially when you consider that these kids were in Church-going families.

What would the stats be in your family now or when you were growing up?

“Choose this day who you will serve...but as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15

Living in Grace,
D3LM3

Sand Castles

We had a great few days away and this time the weather was better than we normally get - yeah:)

We got the chance to build a few sand castles on the beach (none as impressive as the one in the photo though). But, here's the thing about building a sand-castle... we know that it will be destroyed by the next high tide, but we go ahead anyway - it's fun.

Sometimes we treat decisions in life the same way - we know that things won't last, but we make the decision anyway, regardless of the consequences.

Jesus has a different take on this:
"Everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash." - Matthew 7:26-27

What do you think?

Living in Grace,
D3LM3

Scarecrow

A while back the boys planted some seeds in the garden - they wanted to grow their own veggies. With all the rain we have been having, their seeds have begun to shoot up and of course now we have to start worrying about the birds. Tongue in cheek, we suggested that we make a scarecrow for their garden and of course they loved the idea.

So in a rush of spontaneity we grabbed an old broom, old clothes, plastic bags filled with newspapers and a hat. After lots of laughs, we had the old 'scarecrow' ready for action in 30 minutes! Now he guards the veggie patch and time will tell if he does his job or not!

What struck me about the whole scarecrow thing, was that we didn't spend hours planning how to make 'him' and we never rushed out to the shops to buy anything to add to his outfit - we used what we had. Often, the Holy Spirit prompts us to do something for God's Kingdom and we spend days/weeks trying to decide a way forward and planning our next step. In the end, we often end up doing nothing.

I am not advocating 'bad planning', but what I learnt from this exercise, is that sometimes we over-complicate our relationship with Jesus. He has given us His Word as an instruction manual - let's read it and then just act in faith. Somehow I think God is more forgiving of our feeble first attempts than when we delay and miss His opportunities.

What do you think?

Living in Grace,
D3LM3

How can this be?

I was appalled by the news today. A young mother in our home town (Pietermaritzburg) killed her two children, a daughter (6) and a son (4) with a knife and an axe!
What was her reason for this brutal act?
Her answer ... to protect her boyfriend who had raped the young girl.
What on earth is this all about - how depraved are we as a species that this should take place? Is it really true that a mother would kill her own 'flesh and blood' to save a man from being exposed as a rapist? Have we somehow reverted back to sadistic behaviour, where people sacrifice their kids to 'idols and gods?'
I am horrified - I am angry - I am deeply saddened!

Oh, yes and then on the same News bulletin there was Trevor Manuel sheepishly admitting he make an 'error of judgement' in buying a R1.2 million car. This was his way of saying 'sorry' - well, almost! But will he hand the car back and get a less expensive car? His answer is a blatant 'NO way!'

It is one thing to say sorry for something, but it is another to make right the wrongs we have done. Repentance, is not only saying 'I made a mistake', it is asking for forgiveness and then making an about turn! Repenting from my sins is about choosing not to make the same mistakes. Grace forgives my sin, but I cheapen this grace, if I carry on living in the same cycle of sin.

Mr Manuel, you are cheapening Grace, my friend! But, may I be vigilant that I do not also cheapen Grace! The path is narrow...

Grace is a complex gift,
D3LM3

Independence vs. Dependence

Bittersweet! That's what it tasted like this morning. Sweet, but a little nostalgic. We have been trying to get Declan to do his own tie in the mornings for ages - at least that it doesn't look like a mangled mess. Anyway, without any prompting this morning he proudly walked into the room and showed us his tie - even I was impressed - it was perfect. But, that's when it hit me - I won't be doing his tie anymore. Whilst, that may seem like a good thing, it dawned on me, that my boy is growing up fast! In the blink of an eye he will be totally independent.

So here is the catch. As parents our goal is to bring up our kids in the best way possible and to prepare them to become independent. Independence is seen as the right way to go. However, as Christians we need to operate in the opposite way, when it comes to our relationship with Jesus. We need to become more dependent on Jesus Christ than on ourselves.

"Trust in the Lord your God and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths." - Proverbs 3:5-6

Depending on Grace,
D3LM3

Miracle

Five years ago we were enjoying a bit of leave at the beach - building up our energy before our second child was due. Little did we know that our holiday would be cut short by a week, as Nathan arrived a month early. Expecting a baby is one thing - but when they decide to arrive early, your stress levels shoot sky-high!

Nathan's first few days of life were traumatic - being premature he had to be in high-care and on oxygen. We couldn't really hold him for days as he was in this special 'machine'. The doctors told us that it was a miracle that he was alive. Our prayer life increased 100-fold in those few days.

I am blessed to say that on the 24th September, our boy turns 5. He is doing great and has not looked back since his initial struggles. He is exactly like his name sake from the Bible - full of courage and adventure; always willing to 'speak out' and certainly has tendencies to ruffle a few feathers. He could yet be a Prophet!

I thank God everyday for my kids and for Kim.
May we all be grateful for the special people in our lives.

Touched by Grace,
D3LM3

Silkworms

Okay, I confess, I am finding the Silkworm season a little crazy this year. When the little critters spun their cocoons last year we made the mistake of not tossing the boxes and so 4 weeks ago when the silkworms started popping out en-mass we knew that trouble was brewing.

The boys are loving having hundreds of silkworms - but we are not so chuffed. Anyway, we are trying to teach them to 'give generously' and at any opportunity we are encouraging them to give the silkworms away. Other school parents are looking at us with angry glances and we can read their minds....'Don't you dare!' is normally what we see written on their faces.

Anyway, we are now down to 2 boxes and hopefully we will 'bless' some other families with a few silkworms this week. By the way, the advert in the Witness newspaper selling silkworms for 50cents each was NOT from us. Man, I wish I had thought of that, before the market got saturated with worms.

All I can do now is to sing the old hymn:
"All things bright and beautiful,
All creatures great and small.
All things wise and wonderful,
The Lord God made them all."

Indeed, God made them all - but why he made so many silkworms I will never know.

Grace and peace to you.
D3LM3

P.S. FREE OFFER - if you are looking for Silkworms, you can have as many as you like - they are for FREE! Please call.

Riding Bicycles

We spent some time this afternoon teaching Nathan to ride his bike (without any side wheels). As he continues to learn how to ride we still need to run alongside him, holding the seat from time to time, keeping him balanced. What is exhilarating to witness is how a child laughs and smiles as they sense their new freedom. Nathan was no different.

There were many moments when he was smiling so much that he didn't realise that we weren't holding on anymore - his trust in us allowed us to run alongside him, but to give him the chance to ride for himself.

This image speaks to me of how God does the same for us. He walks/runs alongside us, smiling as we enjoy the Life he has given us. Of course He is still right beside us when we lose our balance and we need His strong hand to keep us upright.

May God's loving hand be with you this week, as you "ride" in the freedom of His Grace.

D3LM3

Creating Memories

We have just had a wonderfully time away as a family. There were so many things about this 'break' that were special and unique - but above all, the whole time will be treasured in our memory banks as an 'awesome holiday'.

I think the past few months have re-emphasised for me the importance of 'living in the now' and enjoying the truly valuable things in life (like family and friendships). For the first time in ages, I tried to be really 'present' with my family during the 5 days away. By this I mean - living every moment to the fullest. So often I find myself planning and thinking ahead to the next 'thing' or 'event' or 'project' that I forget to embrace the gift I am presently living. By doing this I miss out on the treasures that are before me and end up stressing a little longer about stuff that can actually wait.

So, with the guidance of the Spirit, I sincerely tried to put other agenda's aside and I sought to savour every swim, walk, meal and time of laughter with Kim and the kids. In the end I think it worked - God was good to all of us and I will remember this week for years to come.

God you have been a generous friend - You Grace is endless. Thank you for allowing me to touch the hem of your garment.

Thanks for walking this road of Grace with me,
D3LM3

Wedding, fishing and surprise - part 2

Well the wedding was awesome - it was a real family affair with Kim playing the piano, me doing the service, our boys as page boys (they were brilliant by the way - so I had to cough up the bribes) and the rest of the family all involved. It was great to catch up with all the family again.

The fishing was as expected - disappointing. I fished for about 15 minutes - it was so cold that I may as well have been fishing in Alaska.

The surprises were numerous - firstly, I got really close up to a Blue Duiker one morning whilst fishing. Awesome God moment - felt really blessed to be in that moment. Secondly, meet an old school aquaintence, who was the photographer - he took some brilliant photos and got to chat with him also. Thirdly, our boys were so well behaved during the wedding service that I thought someone had switched our kids with another 3 boys - I was a proud dad as the Declan and Nathan walked down the aisle first, with little Josh also dressed in his 'suit'. They took their roles so seriously - the bribe was well worth it.

Anyway, my friends, I will be out of action for a week - enjoying a bit of family time and having a 'fast' from my computer. I will post when I get back.
Be blessed by our Master.

Live well in Grace,
D3LM3

Weddings, fishing and surprise!

Kim and I are busy preparing to go to her brother's wedding on Saturday. I have the honour of leading the service and she is playing the music during the ceremony - it is really going to be a family affair. Our little 'warriors' are going to be 'Page-boys', which should be really interesting. I'll let you know how that one goes - we have bribed them already, but I have my reservations. Monty Python here we come!

Weddings can be filled with a whole bunch of different emotions, but it certainly feels as if this is going to be a wonderful time of celebration, family re-unions (the aunts & uncles that you haven't seen since the last funeral/wedding) and much laughter. Life is not easy, but these specials moments are to be enjoyed all the more. That's why Jesus loved to be in the middle of these events (John 2 -wedding at Cana) - He embraced Life and He wanted us to truly live for the moment. His Kingdom is near, so let's live in His Adunbant life.

Typically the groom and other guys enjoy a round of golf (or something similar) on the morning of the Wedding - this time, we are going 'Fishing' - we will probably catch no trout, but that's not the point. The object is to 'man-bond' - in other words, just stare at our line in the water and make the odd chirp across the dam. Most of these comments will be directed towards the groom! It is his fault for choosing to get married on 'Independence Day!!'

Lastly, family occasions are always filled with surprises - one can never predict when and how they arrive, but they always turn up. I look forward to these moments - the unpredictability makes the whole weekend seem dynamic and alive. I will keep you all posted, especially if there are some real gems.

Anyway, I leave these words with you...

"Everything in Christ astonishes me." - Napoleon

May we be astonished by His Unending Grace,
D3LM3