Acquaintance or friend?

“One of the very first things that occur through this learn­ing process is that acquain­tance­ship with God gives way to friend­ship with God.” - Richard Foster

How would you define the difference between an acquaintance and a friend? Would it be time spent together? Depth of conversation and stories shared? Trust and understanding? Having similar interests? Enjoying each other's company? 

When Jesus invites us to be his friends doesn't this make us different in some way? I can imagine being an acquaintance of God, because God has billions of people desperate to speak to him and know him. However, the idea of being a friend of God is hard to comprehend. It is beautiful, but still hard to grasp.

Richard Foster puts forward the idea that the more we journey with Christ (the path of discipleship), so this relationship transforms from one of casual acquaintance to deep friendship.

I know which one I would rather have - how about you? 

John 15:15 - "I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you."

Living in Grace

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God moves in mysterious ways

I find it fascinating how words and phrases make their way into our common vocabulary. Take for instance the phrase: "God moves in mysterious ways..." 

These words are attributed to a poem, that later became a popular hymn, written by William Cowper. Below is the full hymn if you would like to read it again. Of further interest, is that William was a friend of John Newton (author of Amazing Grace) and it was the depth of their friendship that inspired them both to push through some very tough times. 

God moves in a mysterious way,
    His wonders to perform;
He plants his footsteps in the sea,
    And rides upon the storm.

Deep in unfathomable mines
    Of never failing skill;
He treasures up his bright designs,
    And works His sovereign will.

Ye fearful saints fresh courage take,
    The clouds ye so much dread
Are big with mercy, and shall break
    In blessings on your head.

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
    But trust him for his grace;
Behind a frowning providence,
    He hides a smiling face.

His purposes will ripen fast,
    Unfolding ev'ry hour;
The bud may have a bitter taste,
    But sweet will be the flow'r.

Blind unbelief is sure to err,
    And scan his work in vain;
God is his own interpreter,
    And he will make it plain.

Thought: In what ways have you experienced God move in mysterious circumstances?

Living in Grace

D3LM3

Lots of friends versus Real friends

"As we go through life, we start to understand that it's not important to have lots of friends, what truly matters is that we have real friends." - Unknown

Cultivating friendship is a long-term commitment. 

It is quick and easy to click "add friend" or "unfriend" on our social media platforms, but it is a beautiful joy to invest time and energy in fostering genuine friendships. These are the friendships that stand through the storms of life.

I am grateful for the real friends I have in my life. What about you? 

Proverbs 12:26 - "The righteous choose their friends carefully, but the way of the wicked leads them astray."

John 15:15 - I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

Living in Grace

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Eavesdropping on a conversation

"For prayer is nothing else than being on terms of friendship with God." - Teresa of Avila

Let us remember that when Jesus instructed his disciples to pray, he suggested that they use a radical term for God - our Father - It was something they hadn't really believed they could do. 

"Pray like this: Our Father in heaven, may your name be kept holy." - Matthew 6:9

How is your prayer life at the moment?

If someone eavesdropped on our prayers would they be able to say: "this person is definitely friends with Jesus?"

Living in Grace

D3LM3

Friendship in difficult times

 

The above quote has come up a few times this week and it is a poignant reminder that Holy Week is meant to draw us closer to Jesus and to reflect on the gift of the cross. However, it is also a beautiful opportunity for us to reclaim our friendship with God. Journeying through difficult times together is the true test of friendship.

John 15:13 - Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends

Living in Grace

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Remembering C.S. Lewis

Forgive me for being a day or two late, but the 22nd November marks the anniversary of the death of C.S. Lewis. Needless to say he left a huge legacy in the literary arena, as well as in the church context. To honour his life and his contribution, I have chosen a few of his lesser known quotes to share with you. 

May God bless you as you read these today.

"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: “What! You too? I thought I was the only one.”

“Crying is all right in its own way while it lasts. But you have to stop sooner or later, and then you still have to decide what to do.” 

“We are not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we are wondering how painful the best will turn out to be.” 

Which is your favourite C.S. Lewis quote of all time - please share it with me. Thanks.

Living in Grace

D3LM3

True Friendship

                                             

As we sang this beautiful hymn last week at a memorial service, I was reminded of the friendship that Jesus offers each one of us. And as we contemplate all that Christ brings to this friendship it still baffles me why people choose to say 'no thanks' to this gift. As you read through these familiar words may the Spirit of Jesus fill you with grace and peace.

Living in Grace

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What a friend we have in Jesus,

1. All our sins and griefs to bear!
   What a privilege to carry
   Everything to God in prayer!
   Oh, what peace we often forfeit,
   Oh, what needless pain we bear,
   All because we do not carry
   Everything to God in prayer!
   
2. Have we trials and temptations?
   Is there trouble anywhere?
   We should never be discouraged—
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
   Can we find a friend so faithful,
   Who will all our sorrows share?
   Jesus knows our every weakness;
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
   
3. Are we weak and heavy-laden,
   Cumbered with a load of care?
   Precious Savior, still our refuge—
   Take it to the Lord in prayer.
   Do thy friends despise, forsake thee?
   Take it to the Lord in prayer!
   In His arms He’ll take and shield thee,
   Thou wilt find a solace there.
4. Blessed Savior, Thou hast promised
   Thou wilt all our burdens bear;
   May we ever, Lord, be bringing
   All to Thee in earnest prayer.
   Soon in glory bright, unclouded,
   There will be no need for prayer—
   Rapture, praise, and endless worship
   Will be our sweet portion there. (Joseph Scriven)
   

Superficial

 

"Superficiality is the curse of our age." - Richard Foster

There are many levels on which I agree with Richard Foster's quote. The greatest irony is that we live in a time where we can be connected to people globally in a split-second, yet we still feel alone and isolated. Is this because our modern forms of technology can do nothing to bring about 'deep' relationships. It is easy to have thousands of friends on social media, but which of those friends can you truly be yourself with? 

Of course, superficiality is not new. Even in Jesus' time people could choose to put on a 'mask' in public or tried to hide their true selves from others. Thankfully, Jesus was always able to cut through the facade and to address the real needs of the people. 

Mark 2:8 - Immediately Jesus knew in his spirit that this was what they were thinking in their hearts, and he said to them, “Why are you thinking these things?

How deep are your friendships at the moment?

Living in Grace

D3LM3

Three are better than two

Today's reading has been used in countless wedding sermons over the years. Usually the preacher will tell the couple that two of the strands of a rope represent their lives and when they choose to add God into their marriage, the 3 stranded cord is not easily broken. 

"Again, if two people sleep together, they keep each other warm; but how can one person be warm by himself? Moreover, an attacker may defeat someone who is alone, but two can resist him; and a three-stranded cord is not easily broken." - Ecclesiastes 4:11-12

While this is true, we can broaden this analogy to represent all aspects of society and relationships. In the context of Solomon's reflections, we know that he values having companionship and people around him. The picture from today also includes the imagery of a journey - the person who is travelling on a road (journey of life) is easy prey if someone wants to attack them. However, if you travel with someone else, you are less likely to be overpowered. And then of course, if you travel with 3 people, you are safer than with just two. 

The phrase "a three-stranded cord is not easily broken" seems to be added onto the end of verse 12, which could mean that it was a local saying of the times. Almost like we may add: "Unity is strength" or "Strength in numbers" - it is a saying that people understand and it adds meaning to the context of the lesson.

What can you take away from today's readings?

Is God the 3rd strand in your friendships and relationships?

Living in Grace

D3LM3

Friendship

                                                        

Apparently the 30th July is marked as International Friendship Day. I wasn't aware of this - or perhaps I just forgot about it! Anway, I thought I would jump onto the bandwagon and share some lovely verses and quotes on friendship - may you be blessed by these and enjoy every friend God has given you. They are indeed treasures from above.

1 Samuel 20:42 - Jonathan said to David, “Go in peace, for we have sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, ‘The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.’

Proverbs 17:17 - A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.

John 15:15 - Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.

“A day without a friend is like a pot without a single drop of honey left inside.” – Winnie the Pooh

“Friendship marks a life even more deeply than love. Love risks degenerating into obsession, friendship is never anything but sharing.” – Ellie Weisel

Prayer: Thank you Jesus that you are truest friend a person could ever desire. May I respond to your gift of friendship by being a kind friend to those in need. Amen.

Living in Grace

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Does anyone care?

Does anyone care?
This is an interesting question to answer, but before we do let me share this story with you.
I read an article about a young student in New Zealand who died in his hostel room, but no one noticed for 2 months. Can you believe that? That is 8 weeks. 56 days!

Eventually his parents asked the authorities to break into his room because they were getting worried. This story bothers me, because it shows that although we are living in a "connected" world via social media, we are not as connected as we think. This poor guy had to wait 2 months before anyone cared enough to knock on his door.

For this reason, I believe the church plays an important role in helping people connect to one another. This is not just for social reasons, but to keep each other accountable to the faith we profess. Community is vital for our survival in our Christian walk.

"Isaiah asked what we all ask at one time or another: “Does anyone care, God? Is anyone listening and believing a word of it?” The point is: Before you trust, you have to listen. But unless Christ’s Word is preached, there’s nothing to listen to." - Romans 10:16-17 (Message)

Thought: Don't be tempted to withdraw too far from your Christian community, because there is a chance that people may give you the 'space' you ask for, but when you are in desperate need, there may not be anyone to hear your cry for help.

Living in Grace
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Don't call it friendship

 

What would you call Friendship? 
Is it eating together and keeping company with one another? Is it having similar interests or common goals? Is it speaking the same language or even coming from the same neighbourhood?

There is an African saying that argues that it is actually none of these at all. The saying suggests that we should only call it 'FRIENDSHIP' when we have wept together. Sharing the pain and trials of another person creates a bond that is hard to put into words.

 
"Eat and drink together:
talk and laugh together:
enjoy life together:
but never call it friendship 
until you have wept together." - An African Saying

"One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." - Proverbs 18:24

What do you think?

Living in Grace
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The confidence of a friend

When we are blessed with good friends we know that we can confidently ask them almost anything and they will go out their way to help us. Is this the way we view God? Are we able to approach him with the confidence of a good friend?

"We are to ask with a beggar's humility, to seek with a servant's carefulness, and to knock with the confidence of a friend." - D.L.Moody

Proverbs 18:24 - One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.

Living in Grace
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Saying Thank you

We had the privilege this afternoon of saying "Go well" to 2 wonderful men of God, at our Annual Church Synod. Bishop Sandy Dickie and Dr Mvume Dandala will be retiring at the end of this year and we paid tribute to their ministry today. It is always a sad moment for the church when we do this, but we thank God for all they have done for us and for God's Kingdom.

Matthew 25:21 - “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things."

Living in Grace
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Lent #7 - Unreliable?

Job's three friends were having a real go at him. To be fair, they were "trying" to encourage him and get him back on his feet, but they were doing a shocking job of it. All that Job needed from them was a little empathy and some solid advice, but in the end his friends proved unreliable and weak. Listen to what he says to them:

¹⁴ “One should be kind to a fainting friend, but you have accused me without the slightest fear of God. ^15-18 My brother, you have proved as unreliable as a brook; it floods when there is ice and snow, but in hot weather, disappears. The caravans turn aside to be refreshed, but there is nothing there to drink, and so they perish. ^19-21 When caravans from Tema and from Sheba stop for water there, their hopes are dashed. And so my hopes in you are dashed—you turn away from me in terror and refuse to help. - Job 6

Wow, imagine being as "unreliable as a brook"? One moment it is there and the next it is gone! This statement challenges us on our friendships and relationships. How stable are they at the moment? Are our hopes dashed because of being "let down" by others?

Remember that even though Job's friends assumed that God had turned his back on Job, God was still faithful.

Be a trustworthy friend and trust that God is forever faithful.

Living in Grace
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Lent #5 - Knowing when to speak and when to shut up!

One notices that after Job had lost everything, his friends, Eliphaz, Bildad and Zophar went to comfort him. However, when they saw Job they hardly recognised him because of the stress and grief he had been through. In their wisdom they chose to sit on the floor with him and not to utter a single word. This they did for 7 days!

So, for one week they sat in the room with Job showing their solidarity with him and they never even tried to say anything. This is remarkable. There must have been some thoughts going through their minds, but the chose to keep quiet.

"No one said a word to him, because they saw how great his suffering was." - Job 2:13

Of course this didn't last into the second week, because they were soon sprouting forth their thoughts to him, but at least they didn't bombard him from the beginning. How often do we just need someone to sit with us, not to offer advice, but rather just to 'minister' to us through their presence?

James 1:19 - "My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry..."

Living in Grace
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Two are better than one!

Taking a reflective look at life, Solomon often refers to life as being 'meaningless'. For someone who had everything at his fingertips, including wealth, women and wisdom, this is quite a stark statement to make - "everything is meaningless!" Yet, despite his negative outlook on many things, Solomon did make a great observation on friendship.

"Two a better than one, because they have a good return for their work;
if one falls down, his friend can help him up,
but pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!" - Ecclesiastes 4:9

So, who is your friend? Who is the one who will help you up when you stumble and fall? Who is the person who helps you achieve a good return in your work? If there is someone who is a 'friend' like this, then why not say a prayer of thanks for them?

Thought: Remember that even when friends may fail us, Jesus remains a loyal friend and companion.

Living in Grace
D3LM3

What a friend!

We all need friends! I am speaking of friends of the good type. The ones who are there for you and who encourage you. The friends who you can call at all times of the day or night. The friends who you may not see often, but are still committed to the friendship. I am grateful that I have a number of awesome friends. I am also grateful that I view Jesus as my friend too.

What a friend we have in Jesus, 

all our sins and griefs to bear! 

What a privilege to carry 
everything to God in prayer! 
O what peace we often forfeit,
O what needless pain we bear, 
all because we do not carry 
everything to God in prayer. - Joseph Scriven

May you know Christ as your friend today.

Living in Grace,

D3LM3

Welcome

Many of the foreign visitors to South Africa are commenting on how they are feeling 'Welcomed' into our beautiful country. On the whole, we are a welcoming nation and that's brilliant, but we can never compete with the welcoming nature of God.

"But you'll welcome us with open arms when we run for cover to you. Let the party last all night! Stand guard over our celebration. You are famous, God for welcoming God-seekers, for decking us out in delight." - Psalm 5:11-12

Living in Grace,
D3LM3

B & D Challenge (In memory of Barry Marshall)

Indulge me for a second...
...one of the reasons why I will continue to feel the 'after-shock' of Barry's death for years to come, is because of how much he inspired me.

When he was studying at PMB varsity and we were in the young adults group at Metro Methodist together, he challenged me in my understanding of Scripture and my relationship with Jesus. Barry and I started a 'game' (remember Barry's competitive nature) - we called it the B & D challenge! How it worked was that every time we saw each other on campus, we would get a turn to give each other a challenging Scripture verse. We only gave a hint as to where it came from or part of the verse and if the other person got it right, they got a point and so on. If we didn't know it then we had to go and read it up in the Bible.

Part of my love for the Scriptures grew out of this silly game - I was always trying to catch Barry out (and he was trying to do the same). In a pre-Google and pre-Biblegateway age, looking up passages on a daily basis was a good discipline. We found some really interesting verses!

Barry, we miss you dude. We miss your laugh, your crazy ideas, your deep faith, your passion for Jesus, your love for the broken, your music gift. We just simply miss you.

Oh and Barry, here is my last B & D challenge for you... what does Revelation 21:4 say? May you find this to be true.

Peace to you, my friend. Strength to Elaine and the rest of the family.

Living in Grace,
D3LM3

P.S. - I came across this new song by Steve Curtis Chapman today. Apparently he wrote it after the tragic death of his daughter. Cry away.
http://bit.ly/2Xl7C